Two weeks ago, I traveled the furthest west for comedy than I ever have. I performed on Tuesday night in Dickinson, ND; Wednesday night in Williston, ND; Thursday night in Bismarck, ND and finished off Friday in Saint Cloud, MN. A lot of comics do the road thing and drive a lot; since I do it part time I don’t drive as far and as often as some of the other guys. I had never been in the car for 8 hours to get to a show before. That is what I did in order to get to Dickinson, ND on Tuesday. I ended up burning 3 days of vacation (I had summer hours on that Friday) in order to make the run.
I had never done the run before because the pay was not worth it to do it as a Feature but I recently started asking the booker to headline me and they agreed to “co-headline” me for this run. Co-headline pretty much means that there are two headliners and we alternate which nights we go last. I ended up headlining Dickinson (the first night) and Saint Cloud (the last night). The most fortunate thing about the trip was that I did with a guy who was a good guy and easy to talk to in the car. I worked with a comic from Ohio names Steve Sabo. Quality guy and quality comic. He has been headlining for several years and I was a little worried that the other guy would get pissy if he had to go first, but Steve did not mind at all and he was very helpful. If I hadn’t driven with him and I was by myself, I think I would have pulled over and some point, put the car in neutral on a hill and lay my head behind the tire. That is a boring drive. There is practically nothing in North Dakota. The only cool thing was driving through the Theodore Roosevelt National Park between Dickinson and Williston. That was beautiful and it was like a mini-Grand Canyon. I wish we pulled over for a bit and checked it out. We ended up just driving through. Besides that though, there is nothing to see. It is farm after farm after farm. There are barely any other cars on the road. I just don’t get how people can live there all year round, especially in the winter where it is colder than it is in Minnesota.
The first night was Dickinson. I headlined it and I was nervous because typically the first night is a night that I might shake out some of the cobwebs, especially in a state that is not Minnesota or Wisconsin. So much of my act is geared around MN/WI, that sometimes I forget how to tell it in another state and the first show can consist of me playing around with my act trying to figure out the right way to tweak. After that I am usually cool. The show was in a hotel bar and there was no stage. We were basically in the corner with a microphone right by the pool tables (fortunately, no one was playing at the time). The crowd was packed but very talkative and drunk. Yes, it was Tuesday and they were drunk. Where else in the world do people get smashed on a Tuesday Night? It was still pretty fun and we both did well, but it felt like it could have been better.
The next night we went to Williston. Williston is only like 30 miles from the Montana border. Are you kidding me? You know it is bad when we stop at a convenience store and Steve asks the girl behind the counter if they have the USA Today and they never heard of it. Apparently North Dakota is no longer in the US. Who’d have thunk it? Williston was another place filled with people getting smashed. Yep, they get smashed on Wednesday nights, too. Stay classy, North Dakota. It was a weird set-up in that there was a stripper pole at the very edge of the stage. The crowd liked to participate, not heckle, but they were fun and we had a good time with some ad-libs. The staff and owner were super nice and the people in the place were very nice as well, even though there were a ton of people who I could not shake after the show. The people who are smashed and can’t stop talking to you. Usually they have a joke for you to “tell in your act” or they give me advice. In the end, they mean well and are nice, so I try to bear with it as long as I can.
Steve made an almost fatal error that night. While on stage, he asked for a shot on stage which personally I think is a kiss of death in Williston. It almost was the death of him as someone sent up a cup of Jagermeister. Not a shot, an 8+ ounce cup of Jager. OUCH!!!! I like Jager, but I would never take a cup of it. Steve drank it at the end of his set and I have to give him credit, he stayed vertical. I thought I would be baby-sitting him the rest of the night, but he did OK. He was smashed and blacked out, but he was not out of control, which was nice.
Probably the most interesting thing that happened up there was that I ran into a former co-worker from my current job. I was standing there and a guy came up and said, “Remember me?” I didn’t and I usually get a little nervous around this time. I am scared that the next sentence will begin with, “Last time I saw you, you were so trashed……” Fortunately, it wasn’t that and he said we used to work together. I ended up remembering him. I didn’t know him well at my job, but I still thought it was neat that I ran into someone in the middle of nowhere (where USA Today does not exist).
The next night was in Bismarck which is the Capital of North Dakota, which is really not something to brag about. The show that night was fun despite it being a very small crowd (about 20 people). There was some fun interaction with the crowd. There was actually an Iraqi guy in the crowd who works at the airport. Only in North Dakota. Steve wanted to get together with a girl after the show, so we went with her and some of her old friends at some local bar. I don’t think I have ever been a bar with more dooshbags than this place. It seemed like every guy either had a hat on backwards, hat on crooked, hat with the flat brim or sunglasses on. Every guy in the place was embarrassingly trashy. They all also were wearing shirts that were too tight. I will give the retards credit; they did not break out into a fight (which I thought was inevitable).
The final night was in Saint Cloud which was fun as it always is. I should have stayed there because there were two friends who I could have hung out with. I kind of felt bad that I didn’t, but at this point I was dying to be home and see my little buddy in the morning.
The following week (this past one), I worked one night with Richie Holliday and Andy Woodhull at the Carver County Fair. It was a very tough set-up in that it was in a huge shed where more than half the people are there to drink and wait for the country band to go up after us. There was a ton of noise in the shed from people talking in the back and with the sides open, you could hear all the noise from the rest of the fair. The sound system was not the best either and add in the fact that there were some little kids in the area, it made for a tough time to perform. In the end, it ended up being a lot of fun and I was glad that I did it. Plus it was fun to drive with the guys and talk a little shop.
Quinlan
Quinlan is getting bigger and faster by the day. He can run around very fast now and when we are out and about, he needs to be in your eye site at all times or he is gone. When he is walking outside though, do not try and pick him up or steer him in a particular direction because he is so focused on where he is going, he does not want to be stopped. His bottom two teeth still have not come in, so he is insanely cute when he smiles. He is not talking still, but he babbles a ton and makes a lot of funny sounds. He has even become a great dancer. If you want to get a good laugh check out his dance moves in this clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyFrU673Hvc
He just started doing this out of nowhere when I was trying to study and it was hysterical. Fortunately, he was willing to do it long enough for us to record. I can’t wait to be able to share this with him when he gets older.
He got to walk around the Pierce County Fair twice this weekend, Thursday Night and Sunday Afternoon. Both days, he could only handle being in the carriage or our arms for about 30 minutes, then he had to run around. He ran all over the place and almost trip up a bunch of crapper busting fatties. The fair brings out some of the largest, trashiest people I have ever seen. It is also a great place for teenagers to sneak cigarettes apparently.
Manny
Good riddance to this clown. The Red Sox traded him last month along with some cash and two younger players (Hansen and Moss) for Jason Bay. I think Bay is a fine player and should fit in well with the Sox, but what a way for Manny to go out. He fakes an injury and then trashes the Red Sox the week of the trading deadline creating his trade value to plummet because everyone knew the Sox HAD to get rid of him. This retard says that the Red Sox did not treat him fairly. He has made over $150 million dollars from the Sox and he is mistreated???? I wish I could be punished by the Red Sox, I hate having it so easy.
I defended him over the years, now I root for him to get kidnapped and raped on a vacation in Ecuador. Screw him and I hope he tears an ACL. God, I hate these players who piss and moan and act like overgrown babies. At least I got the Patriots to look forward to. I got my subscription to the Sunday Ticket and I plan on watching all the games (well except for the ones that interfere with the niece’s birthday parties because they are always held on Sunday afternoons).
The Patriots will be back to the Big Game. You heard it here first.
Wedding in St. Paul
I was stuck going to Holly's cousin's wedding. It was cool that it was at the Science Museum in St. Paul, but I hate going there where I don't know many people. Hey, but we looked good though!Dark Knight
I got to see The Dark Knight on opening weekend. What a fun, solid movie. Heath Ledger lived up to all the hype and blew me away (no pun intended to Mr. Brokeback Mountain). He easily outdid Nicholson and should get nominated for the Oscar. He will probably win it due, in part, to his untimely death. I look forward to seeing it again because I think I missed some things and I am sure I will appreciate the movie more. The only criticism I have is that it was a little long and it is dumb when Batman/Bruce Wayne talks to Morgan Freeman’s character with the Batman voice when he is dressed up as Batman. He knows he is Batman, why do the dumb voice? I wish Freeman’s character would yell at him and tell him to knock that shit off.
I know there is more to share, but I keep forgetting what I want to talk about. I need to do this more regularly, but I keep forgetting or I get too lazy. I’ll see what I can do as the year goes on.
By the way, Jay Cormier sucks.
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